And She Will Be Loved: A Dedication to Farley

You guys didn't seriously think I would forget to post an entire post dedicated to Farley's life did you?  It is me after all?  When I die, I won't be remembered as a particularly smart person.  I won't ever be wealthy, or super talented.  But I know for a fact, I will be remembered as an animal lover.  I love animals like I love people. My heart can't tell the difference.  I love Farley more than anyone will ever know.  I saw her little face on a website almost 8 years ago, and it was most certainly love at first sight.  Her life started out rough, she was neglected and abused for the first 7 months of her life, which created a fear in her, that even I couldn't make go away completely.  I had a few trainers and even a Vet tell me, she was damaged beyond repair, and that I should put her down.  I knew better.  I finally found a vet willing to help me, and we started her on medication and behavioral therapy.  Years later, we got her to the point where she wasn't fearful around her immediate family.  She even started to enjoy her life.  She loved to chase squirrels, lizards, play with Corky, and take long walks.  She still had many dislikes...vacuums, flashlights, hulk hands, blenders to name a few.  She put up with lots of sticky fingers pulling on her tail, ears and hair at all hours of the day.  More than anything I will miss our nightly routine.  After bath, Corky and Farley would rough house in our bedroom while the boys ran around like wild men.  Then we would walk around the lake after the boys retired to bed.  While Paul and I watched TV, the girls would sit at our feet and devour their nightly bones.  At bedtime, the girls would run upstairs and I would give Farley an ear rub, before she fell asleep at the foot of our bed.  It's hard to go about my normal routine without thinking about Farley.  I think it will take me 2 years to vacuum up every Farley hair left in my house, and that's fine by me.  I broke down crying today when I picked up all the peas she spit out at every meal out on the back porch.
It makes me so sad to think, just 6 days ago, I was laying next to her on the couch during the boys nap time, blogging, just as I am now.  I had no idea what was about to transpire.  Last Friday, during our crazy after bath routine, the girls were running around the room being crazy.  Farley jumped up in the bed to take a rest and mid-jump, she squealed in pain.  I scooped the boys up in the PJ'S and carried Farley to the car and down the road to the vet.  She was diagnosed with a pathological fracture, meaning her foot broke due to something wrong within her bone. I prayed for Osteoporosis for the next few days, before she was finally diagnosed with Osteosarcoma by a Vet at the University of Florida on Tuesday. Because this disease is exceptionally painful and because she had a broken limb, we couldn't wait around.  She was a poor candidate for amputation and chemo because of her age and because the stage of the cancer.  So euthanasia was our only option.  Putting her down yesterday was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  Feeling her tense body, looking into her scared eyes...only to feel her go lifeless in my arms.  I will never forget it.  But I will learn from this experience.  I strongly believe there is something to take away from every terrible thing that happens.  And I WILL live more.  I WILL stop sweating the small stuff, or at least sweat it a little less.  I WILL live with no regrets and be more spontaneous.  I WILL feel more gratitude for what I have.  I WILL be more thankful that I have a happy and healthy family.  I know she is in a better place.  I know she is not suffering any more, and that gives me comfort.  But I will miss her every single day for the rest of my life.  Rest in peace, sweet Farley.  You are loved by many, missed by many and we will NEVER forget you.

And because I am sappy, because I love photos and slideshows and because I wanna make you cry and take a minute to think about my sweet Farley, I made you a slideshow.  I guess it's a bit of closure for me.  The song in the video isn't a song that many would think about, when thinking about loving a dog.  But I heard it on my drive to Gainesville on Tuesday and it made me think of Farley, and of course it made me cry.  But an empty dog bowl can make me cry right about now, so I suppose that doesn't say much.  But Farley had a broken smile, and I would have done just about anything for her.  Get your Kleenex handy, dog-lovers.  And double click on the video to make it bigger.

And for those of you thinking right now, "It's just a dog".  Shame on you.  Shame on you.  I know I am a weird dog lover, but so be it!  Why you gotta judge?  Some dogs are sweeter than people!