Ever seen the show Lock Up? It's a reality show taped in prison. They often times highlight the life of the criminally insane, for instance an old guy that has been in solitary for like 12 years who writes on the wall with feces. I felt like I was in an episode of Lock Up a coule of weeks ago. I walk into Evan's room and he is sitting in his bed after his nap. At first, nothing out of the ordinary jumps out at me. I proceed to put away his laundry. He is telling me about something that's on the floor, I am half listening. Then I hear, "look Mom, mud". I immediately flashed back to a few days prior when I was showing my rental house to a nice family when Evan tells me, "look Mom, mud" and I look over to see that he has soiled himself and it's dripping down his legs. Nice... empty rental house, nice family, I have nothing to clean this up with....OK, back to the present time. I look over and Evan has taken his poop and smeared it on the wall. It's on his sheets, down his legs, all over his hands (he sucks his thumb people and will stop at nothing to suck it, poop or no poop, the boy doesn't care). I wanted to D-I-E.
Picture this, 3 hour road trip with my boys and 2 dogs. 3 bottles of water later... crap, how do I go to the bathroom at a rest stop with two boys, without roasting my two dogs in the Florida heat in the car? You pull over to a gas station and you find one of the 12 empty sippy cups laying around and you just suck it up. OK, there was really only 2 empty sippy cups laying in my back seat, but I exaggerate to make the story a little better. Evan asks me, "what are you doing Mom", so I tell him. Big mistake, cause instead of using a potty chair himself, he wants to use a sippy cup too, "like Mommy does". So I have to transport 2 sippy cups full of urine all the way home.... but at least my bladder got some relief. OK, that was probably way too much information, but I seriously have no shame. No shame at all.
And finally, I took Drew to the urgent care last week because I could swear that there was a hair wrapped around his "junk" and it looked red and swollen and I couldn't for the life of me get the hair off. 2 hours later and a $50 copay, I was told it was a crease and he had a simple case of diaper rash. I almost felt like a new Mom that wasn't a health care professional... almost.
And now please focus on the cute picture of Drew showing off his new talent, holding himself up in the standing position, above, instead of focusing on our poor hygiene skills. Mkay?
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