Bitter Sweet

I can't tell you how many times I prayed that Evan would become more independent and start soothing himself to sleep. Our routine has been (for the last 11 months) to rock him to sleep every night, completely, before putting him in his crib. Sometimes it took 5 minutes, sometimes 60. I read all the baby books and I knew that was wrong. You are supposed to put them down awake so they learn to soothe themselves to sleep. But he was doing so good during the night if he woke up, putting himself back to sleep. I couldn't bare the thought of putting him in his crib alone, as a Mom I was supposed to soothe him!!! After a while, I started regretting the habit I started, when it began taking longer and longer every night. I even asked my Mom, " will I have to do this when he is 4? how am I going to pick him up and place him in bed so gently?" She said not to worry, he would grow out of it. And now, I am afraid he has already!!! The last week, he won't fall asleep on our shoulders anymore. And when we put him in his crib, he grabs his Teddy Bear, and puts his thumb in his mouth, and falls fast asleep. All by himself!!! I would have thought months ago, even a few weeks ago that I would celebrate the night that happened, but now I just feel sort of sad!!!