Happy Birthday Evan.... Again?

Last night my girlfriend Jen and her husband Greg, threw Evan a birthday party. (Disclaimer: we didn't invite all of Evan's friends because Jen was doing me a huge favor by doing this, and I didn't want to invite 20 friends to her house and trash it, so it was mainly this one group of friends that came that knows the hostess... so for any blog readers that are wondering "why wasn't I invited?"... that's why!) Jen offered to do this for me when I was in distress at the hospital on bed rest, and I had to cancel Evan's birthday party. It was so sweet, because she knew with everything I had going on, I wouldn't have much time to reschedule. So basically I just had to show up last night, the easiest birthday party EVER!! It was so nice for Evan to see his friends, and for him to be able to eat cake and be the center of attention. It was an amazing cake by the way!!! And he got really excited about it. He calls firetrucks "woo woos" and when they brought it out he started waving his hands around in the air and screamed "woo woo", over and over again. Then my friends brought me out a homemade key lime pie and sang Happy Birthday, to me! I was taken so much by surprise, I started crying. I have been super emotional lately, must be all the hormones. I am just so thankful for my friends, they have done so much for me. I just feel really lucky, and that just totally hit me last night. Anyway, it was a lovely party and it warmed my heart that Evan didn't have to miss his birthday. So thanks Jen and Greg!!!

Ugbie got to come too, because he extended his trip another few days to help me take care of Evan, which freed me up to spend my days at the NICU. So he took a few pictures at the party. Of course he thinks the pictures didn't turn out, something to do with the light being too red, against his flash being too blue. But all I see are beautiful little boys and girls enjoying their cakes... and memories of Evan's party that almost didn't happen.

Gogie

I have heard of people looking like their dogs, or dogs looking like their owners... but I have never heard of little boys looking like the character on their drink boxes? This picture makes me laugh because he looks like Big Bird here!! And he calls birds gogies, so that's why I entitled the post Gogie. But those big eyes, and the pudding dripping off of his nose (it makes him look like he has a big yellow beak).... he looks just like the big yellow bird from Sesame Street!!!

Drew Update

I have no new pictures to post. Only more dissapointing news. The nurse on Sunday got me all excited for a mid-week discharge this week. However, the physician just informed me, that she would rather we wait and not send him home on an oxygen monitor, but rather wait until he isn't having any more apneic episodes. Which could take another week or two. Geez!!! Hoping and praying he grows out of this apnea SOON!!!

Drew Day 16

Goodness, I really never thought Drew would still be in the NICU at 16 days old!! But he's tough, and still getting stronger every day despite the small set backs here and there. This morning Meema and I went and visited Drew, and this afternoon Ugbie and I visited him. Ugbie got some really cute shots of him too. I think tonight was the most alert he has ever been, and for the longest. It was a great visit. He is 4 lbs 9 oz and growing.

Like Twins

I found this picture of Evan at 1 month and let me tell you, other than about 3 or 4 lbs of extra chub, these boys are almost identical at this age.

Update

Unfortunately Drew was tuckered out this afternoon and was unable to take his bottle, so they had to put the tube back in his nose and put him on more tube feeds. I know he was so glad to get rid of it yesterday, but it's for the best. The nurse said it's common for preemies to regress a bit, so I am hoping it's just a very temporary set back.

Two Weeks Old Today

Drew is two weeks old today. I can't believe that. In some ways it seems like it's been months that I have been spending my days in the NICU, and in some ways it seems like was born only hours ago. Here are some pictures of him from today. He got rid of the tube in his nose!!! He is 4 lbs 8 oz. His oxygen levels still drop when he takes the bottle, so there is no talk of discharging him yet. But I haven't lost hope that he will come home next week some time!!! These are the best pictures I could get today in his tiny dark little room. His hair still hasn't grown in yet in the two places they shaved it for the IV. But he is still cute as a button!!

While I spend my days at the hospital, Evan is enjoying time with Ugbie (Uncle Kevin). He has been having a blast getting lots of one on one attention from his Uncle and his grandparents. He is going to be disappointed when every thing goes back to normal and it's just me day in and day out.

One Down, One to Go

I haven't worried about Evan in at least a few weeks, so I was due to worry about him I suppose. He is a horrible eater, doesn't drink milk, and has even been to a dietitian a few times because of it. With everything that has been going on with Drew, I sort of put his eating problems on the back burner for a while. Well, today was his 2 year well visit. And since Evan has never been to the doctor other than for well visits, it's been 6 months since we have seen the doctor. And it's been about 5 1/2 months since he completely gave up milk. The doctor told me today, he absolutely has to start drinking milk and to withhold all other liquids if I have to! Just what I need. A cranky toddler crying for his juice 24/7!!! Well, low and behold I got him to drink two cups of milk today! That's more than he has drank in the last few months combined! I think he could sense my desperation!!! The doctor is also concerned that he isn't putting two words together and may refer me to a speech pathologist in a few weeks if he doesn't start talking better. Also, as if this wasn't enough, he told me that he probably wasn't going to get his two top incisors since he hasn't gotten them in already, so I have to take him to a dentist for XRays. Sheesh!!! But OTHER THAN THAT, he is healthy. He weighs 26 lbs and is 34 1/2 inches tall. And he got his hair cut on Sunday with Daddy, so I had to take a picture to show off the new do.

As far as Drew goes, he has turned a major corner!!! He all of the sudden woke up and decided he was ready for a bottle. He has taken 5 or 6 full bottles today. The nurse who told me yesterday, it would probably be another 3 weeks, just ate her words!!! She says probably another week or so and he will be good to go. So now the only issue is his apneic periods. I finally am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!!!

So as Drew gets better, stronger and healthier, problems are now surfacing with Evan. But hey, I feel like I can handle anything right about now!!! If I can just get both of my boys under one roof, I can pretty much take on anything.

By the way, I promise after this whole NICU thing is over, it will be a much more positive blog. I know lately all I do is gripe and complain. I know there are babies much sicker than Drew, I haven't lost sight of that. I can't stand blogs that are so negative, which is basically what mine has become. So soon, it will be back to normal, with happy stories and cute pictures of both of my boys!

Update

Because I am totally bummed today, this update is gonna be cut and dry without any cute pics of my little man.

The nurse says if she had to guess, Drew would be in the NICU another 3 weeks. She has been a nurse for 28 years, so I tend to believe her. Drew is still only taking about 20 ml of breast milk three times a day, and he needs to be taking 40 ml every three or so hours. He needs to gain weight steadily, so far he has only gained weight one day in a row, not for two consecutive days. He also needs to stop having apneic episodes, which he is still having one or so a day. The poor boy can't even hold his neck straight enough when laying flat in bed. He has to lay on a rolled up washcloth to hyper extend his neck, so he doesn't cut off his own breathing.

Anyway, he is still doing great, this news just caught me off guard today. Every one says he is progressing as he should, but now all the sudden one week just turned into three.

Keep the positive thoughts coming!

Drew...9 Days Old

Today Drew is nine days old. He has come so far in nine days. He is totally of oxygen now. He is has no IV. He is taking three partial bottles a day. This is such an improvement from last week at this time. He is still getting tube feedings, and his weight is fluctuating around 4 lbs 3 oz. But he is still progressing every day. Right now his main issue, other than eating.. is having periods of apnea. He has had apneic episodes almost once a day, but the nurse says that should improve once he hits 5 lbs. So I am praying he starts gaining weight, FAST!! The key is letting him rest and not stressing him. Because just taking a bottle is stressful enough for him to lose weight. So it's a fine balance that we are trying to find.

Passing Time

I feel like every thing I do these days is just something to pass the time until I can bring Drew home. I have been trying to do some fun things with Evan, since most of the time he is cooped up in the house. So yesterday we went to the park with Meema and we had a blast! What a handsome little boy I have.

Evan Or Drew?

It's no wonder I keep calling Drew, Evan. They are virtually twins, except Evan's hair was reddish and Drew's is brown. Here are some pictures of Evan at a week old.

Sorry the pictures are a little blurry, my camera skills weren't so hot back then!

Drew's New Crib

Yesterday Drew was upgraded from an isolette to an actual crib! Which means I can put him in his own clothes and use his own blankets now! Just one more step to bringing him home. He is regulating his own temperature now, his jaundice is still there...but improving, he is still on room air, and his infection has cleared. As I am writing this, his Doctor just called me. She said he is having a few apneic periods with his breathing, but this is typical for a preemie. He is also "slow" to "nipple" feed. Which means he is having a difficult time taking a bottle. The Doctor said that boys are usually slower at this than girls, and to be patient. We can't push him to take the bottle, because that will wear him out and he may give up trying all together. I asked the Doctor if she thought he was still on track to go home in ten days, and she said, it all depends on Drew. Boo!!! I hate when Doctors are so vague!!! I mean, I understand that it depends on how well he is feeding, but I was hoping for estimate based on how he is doing. Oh well. I gotta hold on to the fact that he is stable and improving every day.

So far the nurses at the hospital have been amazing. When I was on bed rest there, they were great, and they continue to be great when taking care of Drew. Except for one episode yesterday, I have very little to complain about. But, his nurse yesterday gave the poor boy formula. I have an entire fridge full of breast milk that I have been diligently pumping every two hours, and she doesn't even check the fridge and gives him formula! I have nothing against formula, but I have been working my butt off trying to build up my supply. Apparently Drew was not too thrilled about it either, because he immediately threw it up! Serves the nurse right! If you add up all the time I have pumped over the last week, it's a day and a half. Every two to three hours all day and all night. Can you tell I am a bit sleep deprived and a tad bitter?!?

Ok, well now I am off to take care of my other little boy who won't eat, who shall remain nameless.

No New Pictures, but Updates Galore

Sorry, no pictures of Drew for this post. It's so difficult to get pictures in his room. It's so dark, and with the isolette, it's hard. But guess what, tomorrow he is moving to a crib!!!! So pictures will be taken!!!

Other updates, he is off the Bili-blanket as his jaundice is improving and his Bilirubin level has dropped. His oxygen was turned off today, he is still wearing the oxygen tube, so they can turn it on if they need to, but it's on room air. He took 18 ml of milk last night from a bottle! I wasn't as successful today, he only took a few ml for me. But he was so tired every time I would try. I also tried to nurse him, but he couldn't coordinate the swallowing and breathing, so I had to stop. But hey, at least he tried!! So really, today was a great day!! He just needs to keep working on the feeding and he will be home in no time. Today he weighed 4 lbs 2 oz, which is down a bit from birth, but actually not as low as I expected. He didn't eat for the first three days, and he is only 5 days old, so really I expected it to be much lower. Let's hope he starts to chub up fast!

More pictures to come tomorrow, but keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming, it seems to be working!

What's Up with Evan

Evan has definitely taken a back seat lately, because of everything that is going on with Drew. But he has taken everything like a champ. Even when I was in the hospital, he really did great. Today he got a package from Grandma Starstrom and he got this adorable backpack! He didn't want to take it off, he pranced around the house with it for a good hour. So I thought I would take the opportunity to take some pictures of him for a change, since it has been a while. What a cutie he is, he is going to be such a great big brother. I can't wait for him to meet Drew. He will be instantly in love, and so will Drew.

Feisty

So today was a decent day for little Drew. There was no bad news, so in my eyes, it was a productive day! I got to hold him for an hour, the longest I have ever held him. Towards the end he got a little over tired and his oxygen levels dropped, but for that whole hour he did really well. We started trying to get him to drink out of a bottle. Yesterday, he didn't know what to do with the nipple. Today he took 5 ml, then 6 ml out of the next bottle. We have a ways to go before he can take an ounce, but it's a start. The nurse said the jaundice can make him cloudy and lethargic, so hopefully once that clears he will be more willing to take the bottle. So for now, he is still on antibiotics for another week to ten days, and is still on the Bili-blanket for his jaundice. And the doctor said he is on track to go home in two weeks or so.

One of the nurse the other day actually referred to Drew as feisty!!! All throughout my pregnancy I hoped for a laid back baby. I thought surely I deserved that after taking care of one intense little boy for the last two years. Not that Evan is a bad little boy, but man, is he high maintenance! He has been ever since he was born. Apparently Drew is turning out to be the same way. Very strong willed, feisty and wiggly!! But I am thrilled about this, perhaps it will make him get better and stronger, faster.

To go along with my last few posts, on a lighter note, I am the only normal Mom of a NICU baby at Winnie Palmer. Sitting in the breast pumping room, I met some real crazies today. Perhaps it's the hormones, sleep deprivation or the stress. But geez!! If I get crazy, please someone tell me!!!

Temporary Home Away from Home

Today was a rough day for little Drew. I didn't get any pictures of him because he has jaundice and had to sleep on a Bili-blanket. The lights were all so low, and he had little patches over his eyes. So I didn't want to disturb him with a camera flash. Not only does he have jaundice, but they believe he may have pneumonia, and they are treating him as such to be conservative. He doesn't have a fever, so they may be catching it early. But his white blood cells are high and they have been unsuccessful on weaning the oxygen, so that's their reasoning. They have been feeding him breast milk through a feeding tube for a day or two, but today they had me try to bottle feed him. He really just wasn't interested. He wouldn't suck at all. So we are continuing tube feeds for now. I kept thinking, "oh no, you are gonna be a bad eater like your brother, aren't you!!"

On a much lighter note, I discovered how difficult it is to change a preemie's diaper while in an isolette. I thought changing a busy two year old's diaper was hard, that's nothing!!! Try changing a preemie size diaper full of meconium, while not draping fifteen wires and tubes in the thick sticky pooh.... all the while doing this through two tiny holes in the side of the isolette. The side of the isolette, not the bottom, where the diaper is. Sheesh, that was hard!! But I got to see his cute little hiney for the first time so it was worth it!

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Last night around 11pm, I was discharged home!!! Obviously it was a bitter sweet homecoming, that goes without saying. This morning Paul and I went to visit Drew. He had a great night, so much so, that they decided to take off his oxygen. But unfortunately when we were there, he started struggling to breath. So I wasn't able to really hold him, and they had to put him back on the oxygen. He also kicked his IV out of his foot, and they had to insert one into his scalp. Poor guy just wants to be left alone. I went back later today to check on him, and he was much more at peace. So I am praying he has a good night.

Evan was over the top excited to have us home today. He didn't want us out of his sight. He didn't want to sleep, just wanted to play with us all day. Which of course was fine with me! He actually asked about the baby. He ran in the baby's room and looked in his crib and said "baby?" I am not sure he knows what is going on, but he seemed curious and open to the idea of sharing Paul and I with his little brother.

On a side note, I was kind of feeling guilty about not naming Drew, Paul's favorite name. But then Maurice Jones Drew ( a Jaguars football player that is on Paul's fantasy team) had a great day and scored Paul a lot of points, and Paul had a change of heart about the name Drew. For the wrong reasons, sure, but at least it got me off the hook!!!

Easy to Love

Check out all your wires and tubes and the like.

The one I hate the most is that darn tube in your mouth. Hurry up and grow bigger so you can eat on your own please!


Poor thing, you just want to sleep and everyone keeps poking at you!!

You sure are easy to fall in love with, baby Drew. We are already smitten with you. But you are hard to hold, and then somehow harder to let go of! We got to really hold you for the first time today. And wow, it is an ordeal with all of your wires and tubes. You don't like being out of your warm little cocoon in your incubator, so you fuss at first. But then just when you get comfy, it's time to put you back. And you don't like that either. But don't worry, this won't stop us from holding you as much as we possibly can over the next few weeks while you are in the hospital. You are stuck with us whether you like it or not!

Introducing....

I would like to formally introduce our little miracle, Drew Edward Starstrom. The first name, is just a name I have always loved. His middle name is after my father-in-law, which is also Paul's middle name. I just love the way it sounds with Evan Paul. Evan and Drew just sound like perfect brothers and best buds to boot! He simply didn't look like a Luke, which was my other favorite name. And poor Paul, who has been rooting for "Nathan" for both of our sons, still didn't get his way. Maybe I will have to have one more and name him Nathan.... maybe, just ask me in a year or two.

To update on Drew's status, he is doing much better today. He is off the CPAP and is on a nasal cannula, as you can see from the pictures. He looks much more at peace today, and is less irritable. He doesn't appear to be struggling to breath like he did yesterday. He is still in the most intensive of the NICU pods, but will hopefully move to a less intensive one in a couple of days. He is sucking on a pacifier in this picture, but has been trying to find his thumb. I still haven't held him, but I am supposed to be able to hold him this afternoon. I absolutely can't wait!! Hopefully there will be more pictures to come!